Another ending. The end of an era. Fin. God knows I've seen enough of those.
He gave up, not I. He thought he made everything worse by playing little games with telephones and sending false presents through the mail. It's all too bad that two weeks past this one was the equivilant of the Apocalypse of a potential I wanted so terribly to make real.
I forget what real is. Super heroes? Vampires? Friends? Love? Pain? Charley came to visit me yesterday. "Come into the light, and forget your troubles," he told me. "Be free. Be wild. Don't worry. It doesn't hurt, I promise."
Agnostic--everyone is Agnostic nowadays. Me, I switch back and forth from Agnostic to Atheist. In either case, there is no way for me to truly feel any connection to an outside force. There is no de ja vu. There is no Fate.
If there does indeed exist a god, he or she abandoned me long ago. I was rendered unconcious many years ago, and I've been in a coma for too long. I do recall visits from them. There was a warm feeling every so often. I felt its false presence then. Warm and safe, I felt. The visits became less frequent. The doctors must have told them that I am a lost cause. They will let me live out the rest of my existance in this--confusion, for lack of a better word. Forced inside my own mind of a warped existance in which I have the power to do anything I want. But then, so can you. No future. No past. Just now. A false present.
And the only thing I've learned from this is not to love anything.

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**This was written at work today. See? I'm productive kinda...